How to behave in airports: A guide

I’m not one to typically “reblog” a post but this was too good to pass up


DISCLAIMER: I am in no way responsible for anything that happens as a result of you following this guide or anything that happens during your life as a result of your debilitating inability to understand sarcasm. Additionally, this post was written on a iPad with anxiously shaking hands and a severe time limit (I’m being called to the gate and about to engage rule 6) so please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors. 

I find myself in Sydney airport staring down the barrel of a 15 hour flight and bottle of valium. Rather than sitting here constantly visualizing my plane exploding, I’m forcing myself to observe my surroundings and focus on something other than my imminent death. Which brings me to my realization of my utmost hatred of airports. They’re gigantic; stressful shopping Mecca’s that someone has cleverly added a sterilized smell, complicated signs and a few runways to.

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